A promise is a way of binding a future self who never agreed to it. Defend the right of that future self to refuse.
I find promises to be intriguing. I am intent on defending the right of my future self to refuse. Perhaps I aim not to let down the people I make promises to. I do feel a responsibility to do what is right in that regard — to always be telling the truth when I am making a statement. Honesty is crucial to me. I know that if I make a promise that I believe to be true, I intend to maintain the integrity of that moment by following through with the promise into the future. Is that fair to my future self? My future self is not the same person who made the promise. I am judicious in the promises I allow to be released for this reason. I do aim to maintain a long-term sense of candor.
The Future Self
Future me is not the same me making the promise. For example, I could make a promise to harm someone when my current self's character was low quality. Once my character becomes higher quality, is that self still bound to executing on the promise? I should think not. Perhaps this is a question of the integrity and weight of the promises themselves. Unfortunately, people put a lot of weight on promises. This extrinsically binds us to them. The expectations of others does not reflect the weight of our decision-making. Kahneman's system one and system two thinking is an important factor here. Promises are often made under pressure, as a reflex to encourage others' belief in us. This immediately delegates these so-called decisions to system one thinking, where no actual consideration occurs. If instead time was taken and system two thinking was prioritized, the promise may be considered alternatively or not at all. I endeavor not to make promises or decisions under pressure so that I can remain true to my word to the best of my ability. There are always situations in which I must make quick decisions, and this is what determines the quality of one's outcomes. Time can typically always be made for swift system two consideration so as to not harm integrity. Most decisions are reversible anyways, but I aim not to speak in ultimatums so people can recognize my attempt to maintain honesty.